23 7 / 2012
I’m just coming out of an icing induced coma and it’s all Emily Maynard’s fault.
Last night I spent 3 hours of my life watching the final steps of her journey unfold on national television & all I have to show for it is three empty cans of Betty Crocker icing.
For those of ya’ll who don’t know—and this doesn’t count as a spoiler because you’ve had over 10 hours to watch it for yourselves—Emily picks Jef! And Jef picks Emily. And Ricki picks Monkey.
There is a scary huge Neil Lane sparkler & a heartbroken European race car driver somewhere in all of that, but you get the gist of it.
Yep. Jef & Emily are now engaged & have announced their plans to travel to Africa together & get married in an authentic village ceremony & adopt an entire orphanage of babies.
Ugh I wish. Everything except the Africa trip is a lie okay. Don’t believe me. It’s the icing talking.
How are we feeling about the outcome? You know me—I’m still hoping Sean Lowe will show up in the African wilderness & save Emily from a lion & whisk her away to a place where there is cable TV and Starbucks.
But if that isn’t an option then whatever. I guess Jef was the obvious choice.
Congrats to the happy couple & I’m going to need more icing if I ever plan to make it through this day.
Did I say icing? I meant—well yeah I meant icing.