04 4 / 2013
We all know how I feel about Kate and her coats.
They make my speakers go boom-boom and stuff if you’re new around here.
But this one missed the mark for me. Don’t get me wrong I love the tartan print. (A clear nod to Scotland, where she & Will kicked off a 2-day tour this morning!)
But I do not love the Kardashian-length hem.
And I just feel like this coat is squishing her bump, you know? Let the little gal breath!
Or it could be a guy. I guess. Ugh.
12 1 / 2013
If my portraitist portrayed me one lip injection away from Angelina Jolie’s evil(er) twin, I’d subtly give him the bird too.
10 12 / 2012
A weekend in review:
- Kate Middleton is still throwing up. Bless her heart.
- The cast of Downton Abbey attended a New York Knicks game. Out of costume. Almost went unrecognized.
- Kim Kardashian’s kitten died. Have Mercy.
- The Mistletones premiered on ABC Family! Because all anyone wants for Christmas is a musical starring Tori Spelling?
- Taylor Swift & Harry Styles are still dating. (Happy 1 Week you guys!)
- And wearing the same jeans.
- Ryan Gosling still looks ridiculously attractive in cardigans.
06 12 / 2012
Duchess Kate has left the building.
The hospital building, that is. She was discharged this morning around 10:45 (London time) and was then whisked away by her prince to their cottage on the grounds of Kensington Palace, where she will remain for a period of rest.
And really, apart from looking a bit pale, Kate looked no worse for wear after spending 4 days in the hospital.
I mean of course incessant vomiting agrees with her?
This marks the end of the royal bump watch for a while, as I’m assuming Kate will stay holed up for a bit of R&R. But fingers crossed that she’ll be feeling up to attending next week’s London premiere of The Hobbit!
Until then, I’m going to start forming & laminating my list of Top 10 Royal Baby Names.
Educated guesses, obviously.
03 12 / 2012
Will & Kate’s royal baby annoucement has left me in cardiac arrest/tears/wet pants, so I’m really in no condition to be writing. But I figure the least I can do is compile a simple list of thoughts for us all to dwell on.
- Obviously the most important question. Boy or girl? Is it too much to ask for twins?
- Wait if it IS twins…who is the rightful heir? Drama.
- There is a royal baby live blog. You need to know about this.
- What is the likelihood of this child having red hair?
- Jessica Simpson’s eventual pregnancy announcement is not going to matter AT ALL. (!!!)
- That’s what happens when you make the world wait an entire human gestational period before you even confirm you’re with child. I digress.
- Can you imagine the royal baby showers? Tea for two!
- I wish I had an Aunt Pippa.
- Reports say Kate is NOT going to hire a nanny. Someone come pull me out of the heap of rubble that is my shattered dreams.
- I’ve already pre ordered one of everything from the Temperley for Two maternity line. Just for safe measure.
Alright. If you’ll excuse me I need to go change my pants.
28 11 / 2012
I was really hoping that Kate’s next major life change would have been a child.
But I’ll take fringe bangs.
I mean if you think about it they’re almost the same. Both require lots of patience & work, and most of the time they never do what you want them to.
23 10 / 2012
You guys know how I feel about Kate Middleton.
And you know how I feel about her wardrobe.
But I hope by now, you also know how I feel about floral embroidery.
It doesn’t exactly make me all warm and fuzzy inside. So obviously tonight’s Alice Temperley dress was a miss for me.
I would venture to say it was probably a miss for everyone? I can imagine even ole’ Alice herself is wishing she could take back a few stitches.
But you know what? This woman has not made a questionable fashion move in like, half a decade. Save the White After Labor Day incident during the South Pacific Tour but that was ONE TIME okay.
So if she wants to step out in a dress that looks like it came from Coldwater Creek, then that’s FINE.
Let’s just agree to collectively turn a blind eye, as a nation.
Call it a step towards world peace.
11 10 / 2012
This is my third consecutive day being forced to look at photos of Kate in a gorgeous coat.
I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I’m depressed.
At this point, I’ve eaten so much chocolate that I think I need my stomach pumped.
But I feel like Kate sensed that in me? And she has shown me mercy by wearing this black coat while leaving Loulou’s in Mayfair last night.
You see. If the coat is black, and it’s dark outside, then I can’t really see it that well.
Therefore I can’t tell how gorgeous it is or how badly I want to own it.
Which means I can kind-of-sort-of turn a blind eye, move on with my life, and get back to consuming socially acceptable amounts of chocolate.
I can already tell. Kate will make such a gracious queen.