03 1 / 2013

Look. I’m a pretty patient person.

But how long am I going to have to wait for Suri Cruise to debut her clothing line?

What is she waiting for anyways, her 7th Birthday?

03 7 / 2012

Happy 50th Birthday, Tom Cruise! I hope no one comes to your Birthday party and you have no cake and no candles and especially no gifts.

I’m sorry ya’ll. I’ve tried to remain neutral (not very hard, but I’ve tried) during this whole TomKat split. But things just got personal.

New reports are saying that while they were married, Tom “forbade” Katie from participating in a Dawson’s Creek reunion. As in, ordered her not to do it. You can see why I’m not exactly in the mood to play pin the tail on the donkey here.

I have nothing against the guy as a person. But by denying the world a Dawson’s Creek reunion movie, he is crushing the hopes & dreams of an entire nation. I don’t know how the man sleeps at night.

You know what? I actually hope Tom gets just one gift this year.

A soul.

29 6 / 2012

In case you haven’t heard—which would be impossible unless you were in a rocket ship on your way to Saturn. And even then you’ve probably heard. Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes are headed for divorce.

I have thought really hard about this, and all I can say is that I wish the best for both of them during this difficult period of their lives.

Oh and also:

  • How could you do this? To me? To Suri? To Oprah?
  • Katie do not worry there is someone out there taller than you who will love you for who you are.
  • Someone like Joshua Jackson.
  • Long live Joey & Pacey!
  • Also when can we expect your tell-all book?
  • You will be writing a tell-all book, right?
  • Tom let’s name your next movie MARRIAGE:IMPOSSIBLE.
  • WHO WILL TAKE SURI TO BALLET CLASS?

Okay.

So maybe I had a little more to say regarding this subject than I originally thought.